ANOTHER ONE! [CRAZY ME] In The KITCHEN…

Yeah! I’m back again! Black and proud (as you can see); young and gifted (yes, I’m still young, mo’efferz); hot and smokey (put your hand in my boxers and feel the temperature); heavy and loaded (just finished eating); fresh and clean; up and high on gin and juice (vodka, sorry); touring from coast to coast (of Ibadan, yeske!); accumulating fans from wall to wall (tell me who is within my room who is not my fan); clearing cheques from banks to banks (details coming soon); making green off your eyes! Lemme leave you to do the math because I will need to be higher than people on grass to welcome you to another crazy week!

Yes, I am the one again and I remain my crazy self, but on another level — even a common madman knows that his ‘shit’ is not going to sell if he repeats the same show over and over again!

My last week’s ‘In The Bathroom’ was super explosive, even more for the corresponding image. I received many funny comments that using the image was wrong and all, but do you know that the post received the highest page views in less than two days of publication? And I need to ask if you can see the title of this segment very well; do I have to explain the meaning of CWAZIE to you? Enough said then.

And from what you read on the ‘In The Bathroom’, I am so sure you will be expecting something very bedful on this, like the Kitchen is sequel to the Bathroom. Well, I was on the third bottle of vodka with my friend, discussing some real shii, and the very serious issue about kitchen business came up….

Women Look Beautiful Doing Their Thing ... In The Kitchen

I don’t know about you but most of my female friends usually express relief whenever I tell them that I can cook, and some automatically expect I should be able to cook like: do I look like a woman? It is usually encouraging whenever an older woman says: “nice, you can cook; your woman won’t be able to suffer you with food” but I wonder what excites these younger ladies about my ability to cook like: don’t they know it poses a big problem to them?!

If I can cook well and you are on the ‘trying level’, as a woman, staying with a man like me becomes an eternal problem as you will never be able to satisfy me. And if you don’t know how to cook at all and you are happy that you just married a cook, well, all you will be eating is the enormous sausage in my boxers! And if you think you can always hire a cook to assist you (definitely not another man in my house); I only hope you extend your thoughts to many other ways she will be assisting you!

Seriously, I am an African Man, a proud one, and I don’t see any reason a woman should say she can’t cook. Adam had many things to do in the Garden of Eden, and to return from a busy day to start cooking would have been killing, so God made him Eve. I am so sure that the snake didn’t meet Eve in the kitchen, where she was meant to be; otherwise she would have thought more of the snake as a delicacy than a company. And the cooking they were created to do is now a miracle to find most of these women doing, all in the name of civilization — what is the world coming to?

Maybe these women don’t know that their Operating System is divinely programmed to be effective in the kitchen. And it is not only in the Dettol advert a woman should say the “if I don’t take care of my family, who will?” line, it applies to getting food cooked for them as well. For a man to enter the kitchen, it requires a download and installation of a kitchen plugin, but like you see ‘intel inside’ on some computers, kitchen mode is part of what makes a woman.

I can’t accept it whenever a woman claims not to know how to cook — that sounds more like a factory reject or substandard product just like you are telling me that the Smart Stay option is missing on my Samsung Galaxy S4 — you have been designed to cook effortlessly, sweetheart! I see myself doing things in the kitchen, which seems cool, but do you know that what will take you twenty minutes to get done will take me more than forty? That is to let you know that YOU, woman, are meant to be in the kitchen.

#Cwaziest

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ATTENTION: BRAND NEW Segment on #MikellzBluez you MUST READ — BARBIE TEE’s DIARY. Enjoy….