#MBzer Of The Month: Ajibade | The Legend Of Sandra And Zeus D Lord [Bluez In My Words]

So I was asked to pick up my pen, which I haven’t done in few months now, I am so sure that my diary misses me already. Unlike Mikell, who is a vodka drinker, player, boycotter, and that craaay dude I trained; I am gentle, peaceful, intelligent, handsome, and as reserved as I can be. I am a girl loving dude, so we still have few things in common; such is this story I am about to tell you about this surprising incident that rocked my world for long….

*sitting back* Where do I start from? *thinking* …ah ah…okay… I was at home on this fateful day when a very close friend of mine, Tunji, beeped me up to request my company at his place because he was all bored and tired of staying home alone. You can imagine that rubbish; do I look like a jobless being? I asked for few minutes to get myself cleaned but then he said that Sandra will be at his place in few minutes. Meanwhile, I’ve heard some very interesting stories about Sandra (you need not know, amebo), so my brain instantly clicked that it was time to put a face to the stories and name that have been trending in my imagination. Sharp guy, I took my bath, combed my hair, applied deodorant to my finely shaved armpit (it’s cleaner than a new WC, so stop the imagination), put enough cologne on my body and I zoomed off to my nigga’s place.

Unfortunately for me, Sandra was already around and some other friends as well, so I just pretended, as much as I could, like I didn’t know she was visiting. Salutations were in order (you know the drill when guys meet up naw), then I turned back to take a glance at this calmly looking beautiful damsel sitting on the couch close to the door, which I walked in through then. I was amazed as she responded to my salutations — you should see this girl… choi! Clearly I have blind friends because all their descriptions were definitely understatements. Me wey be madman just go sit down for dining table wey dey far from this girl but we still fit dey connect sha, because na her eyes, body, hair, and bobbie me just dey look and was drooling.

Next few hours got everybody mingling, and so lucky for me, Sandra chose to chill with me by the dining table. It was all the normal drill sha, getting to know each other, schools, hobbies and so on (you know the introductory part of ‘P-setting’ na). Then this drive took a great turn when PHCN decided our bulbs and electronics have been off for too long (NEPA bring light ni jare) and these crazy fellas of mine all raced to the other end of the sitting room to toy with the PS3 game console, leaving me and this tempting damsel all alone. Did I hear you say “ghen ghen!”?

We talked for long but she started acting strange when I decided to take off my TM Lewin Shirt (are you wondering why I did that when PHCN became active?! All na set-up jare). Sandra concentrated more on the visible packs and pumped chest under the white singlet I was putting on (Yes! White!), thus she started feeling uneasy and was changing sitting position and starring more at my lips. Making funny eye contacts, as a sharp coded guy who knew what was going on, I wasn’t making it any easier — trust me. I just kept flaunting my six-packs and my handsome face, while I maintained this great personality of mine.

Sandra decided she couldn’t take it no more (like: why see a chocolate with this fine smell and yet can’t taste it?), so she decided to call it a day. Goodbyes were in order, and it was at that point I ventured into the kitchen with the hope that my goodbye will be a little bit personal. So there I was waiting for her to come and meet me — waited so long that it felt like forever — till a fella (I can’t remember who exactly) whispered in my ears “Sandra dey await you for staircase; she say make you kon follow am go where she go carry bike.” Choi! I was faster than ‘Flash’ in putting on my shirt and going to meet her (I left some buttons undone sha oh — trust naw).

To cut this long story short, we were close to the door when this chikito grabbed my shirt from behind, pulled me towards her and then angrily slapped my lips with hers. Gbam! See them, pervs… choi! Well, I was furious and angry, so my revenge couldn’t be averted as I actually cupped her face in my hands so as to make it more painful when I punched her lips with mine in vengeance. The aggression continued with raging anger under the dark staircase… till she decided to go searching for Zeus D Lord (ZDL). Kindly read my #MBzer Of The Month INTRODUCTION to know who bears the name “Zeus D Lord”.

This is the point Brain would’ve asked Pinky, “are you thinking what I am thinking?” and the stupid mofo would definitely have replied, “err… I think a sharp ‘quickling’ is about to shele.”

I didn’t think twice before opening wide the doors of the encaged; everly ready for battle is my armoured ZDL. As sharp and smooth as this sensation was, I was enjoying myself. And yes, I can say the same for her, as she was evidently lost as soon as undressed ZDL and had him swimming in her mouth.

And you know what they say about “slow and steady winning the race”, my man, that day was different. It was a terrible battle to fight as ZDL kept penetrating the enemy line and not forgetting to fall to defence with sharp sequence. The battle was one of kind because eventually, the hero died a sweet and pleasant death with ‘white blood’ gushing out of his head but couldn’t spread because of the shield he had on….

Heard something about me? Who cares? 

*Le sigh* We were finally dressed but I couldn’t still get my eyes off her lips, so I did kiss her one more time before the door leading to the staircase flung open from the outside and… Alas! It was Tunji’s mum returning from work (you can imagine if she was just a minute earlier)! Sandra just quietly left but dropped this story I can never forget into my life. Now, you can imagine the stories I said that I heard earlier. #okbye

My Bluez … in My Words.

Adeyemi Ajibade