#MBz39 - Aminat And Her Italian XXXPLOSIVE Job — Part II

It is very funny but so true that some people are in the year 2014 while many others are in 2013C… meaning the New Year actually gives nothing to many except for the change in calendar. But tell you what: #MikellzBluez has started giving out super new shits and is promising to give you more, even if nothing is making the New Year anything new to you.

And talking of new shits happening this New Year, Aminat’s arrival is the best opener that anyone in my shoes can wish for… or didn’t she just say she is in Nigeria? My one and only Aminat is in Nigeria… please, where is she?

“I am in Ibadan!”

*rubs eyes and blinks to confirm my sleeplessness*

Am I dreaming? Aminat is in Ibadan? One funny thing about Ibadan to me is the fact that anywhere you may be located in there is always a “next door” to me—no matter how distanced—except I just don’t want to knock on your door. “Where, in Ibadan, are you?” I ask.

“You didn’t even ask what I am doing in Nigeria and what brought me to Ibadan … all you care about is my location, so we can see and you can kill me with ‘that’ your anaconda like you’ve always promised, right?”

Aminat is in Ibadan ... Skelewu! Skelewu!!

What a genius! This is the reason I didn’t stop talking to this girl, even as the distance between us was so vast that laying my pipe into her seemed almost a childish fantasy, she usually keeps blood rushing in my pipe hard with her un-minced expressions. Just as she mentioned “anaconda”, my reptile instantly nodded acknowledgement… but as she was right about my brain being clouded with scenes from ‘Pirates’ (the mojo—of course), I took my pill named “chill”.

“Sweetheart, no vex naw,” I coo into my earphone, “you know I am so surprised and excited ni, I am sorry.”

“Anyways, even if you have no interest in knowing, me, I am ready to tell.”

*chuckles and looks at my device’s screen to see the timer reads: 00:20:43*

Wait! Who called who? Alright, she did—better not start a story I didn’t ask you when I call you—so she can tell me everything she desires to. No problem as I am actually doing nothing except trying to write my first Bluez for the year, and I know my readers will even understand my reason for the delay.

My face ... when I call and a girl is telling me some irrelevant shit

“My elder brother is getting married this weekend and he demanded I am around to witness the event.”

Like seriously? It is one thing to receive a Nigerian call from Aminat; it is another to know she is actually at my Dickson’s reach—oops! Arm’s reach… it is definitely massive to have her explaining her mission—not like I don’t give a shit—like I am “the man”. Yes, and you know what “the man” gets at the end of the day… you are definitely thinking what I am thinking.

“You didn’t even check on me, if you have, you would have seen that I have been offline for five days now … yes, I have been in Nigeria since three days ago.”

Oh yes! But I did … my WhatsApp chats and BBM pings didn’t deliver, so I thought she was having issues with her device. But to be candid, I keep too many girls on the list to put extra time into finding out why a supposed far distanced girl is not connected… I just move on like: “I’ll see you when I see you.”

“You could’ve mentioned me on Twitter though—or am I not your girlfriend again? How did you cope without talking to me? What if I didn’t come to Naija but it was something else had happened to me in Italy that made me appear offline?”

“I am so sorry, baby…” I am crazy, I know, “nothing evil will happen to my baby in Jesus name.”

“I’ve heard you oh,” she waves off my fake apology and I can feel it in my ears, “anyways, my brother is getting married to a Yoruba girl in Ibadan, so we are lodging at one hotel like that at Bodija—I can’t remember the name.”

"What do you mean you lost 'the key' to your punani?"

Why can’t she remember the name? She should ask someone naw… abi which kind level be this? How am I supposed to track her now? Boy, “it’s been a long time coming” is the name for this girl’s movie oh, and I must to nail—

“Well, I got so bored… then I remember you said you stay at one Alakika or something”

“Alakia” Come and see fast correction, autocorrect is learning, I swear.

“Yeah, Alakia…” she says, “so, I asked one of our drivers and he said he knows the area wel—”

[PAUSE] I swear some sick god—Loki, maybe—must be messing with my head right now. The rate at which everything is falling into place seems like a horny god is setting me up to please his voyeur mind… seriously, mama never told me there would be days like this.

"Yeah right, Mikell ... now, lemme see some action"

“…and we just passed Iwo Road … yes, Iwo Road just now … yes, on the straight road to Alakika—oops, Alakia; please how do I get to your place?”

…MikellzBluez Continues…

#MBz39 © 2014