BARBIE TEE’s Diary | Exotic Life And Times Of Ms. WakakWaka - Vol. 3

I am singing the very interesting part of D’Banj’s ‘Don’t Tell Me Nonsense’, “Eyin boys, e gba oju e!” to all the enemies that want to stop my shine! But to all my fans, I am saying, “I love you all.” But no go sing that song in front of ‘area boys’ oh, na God I take beg you.

Gbagaun! Gbagaun!! Gbagaun!!! As Yoruba people dey talk am, make all the people wey dey house tell all those wey don comot say Barbie Tee don come again — the only Miss WakaWaka of Nigeria, another one is a counterfeit. When breeze blow fowl yansh, na me dey first see am … as we don start this journey together, na to just continue with me. And every week, I promise to give you all the update of wetin my eyes see, wetin my ear hear, wetin my mouth talk, wetin my nose smell, wetin my hand do, and most importantly, where my leg waka go… I no dey tire and till I grow old and my back bend, I go still dey waka.

I told you last week about wetin I see for Peter Okoye and him pikin mama wedding… e be like say na when I kon talk, these desperados kon step up their game (if you wan know wetin I talk, go and read the previous episode) because it was the same thing that happened at Tiwa and Tee Billz engagement party. But thank God say Tiwa follow my advice because as the desperados over dress reach, Tiwa still shine pass them. And that Maldives wey she dey go for white wedding, we dey follow go together ni *laughs sweetly*.

Now back to the matter of today, my encounter with Mr Johnny the house boy, if you never dey follow the story abeg go read the second episode to get the full gist.

Johnny bought fuel finish and started walking towards the car, I kuku just pretend like say I no see or hear anything. Johnny entered the car and zoomed off. I was now wondering if this is the same Johnny wey Yemi Alade dey sing about — yes, she sang a song about Johnny; if you never hear, you go still hear am — if na so, it means say no be only me this guy don try to deceive, and he really needs to be taught a lesson.

I was still thinking of what to do to Johnny when I noticed that we were close to a police checkpoint. I wasn’t sure of what to do but I knew in my mind that this might just be the only opportunity I would have to deal with Johnny. Luckily for me the policeman stopped him, and they exchanged greetings….

Policeman: Good evening sir

Johnny: Oga, good evening

Policeman: Can I see your particulars?

Johhny: Oga, abeg we dey go somewhere and we don late; make I find something for you.

As Johnny was trying to bring out money from his pocket, the policeman asked again, “Oga, your particulars and who owns this car?” na so Johnny start to dey scratch head dey talk, “err … err … err… it is my car.”

That was when I kon vex talk say, “Oga police, don’t mind this yeye boy oh; this car is not his own. He is an houseboy and this is his oga’s car. Hold him very well; he is trying to run away with the car.” Johnny looked at me with disbelieve on his face (that kine look like say he see ghost), I looked back him and asked, “Is this car your car, yeye boy? So you think that you can trick me, eh? You will learn your lesson today — nonsense! Oga police, hold him very well, he is a thief.”

Na so Johnny start to dey beg police, “Oga, please I beg you, I go give you anything you want.”

The police now asked him again, “Who owns this car?”

“Oga, na true,” Johnny started crying, “no be me get the car; na my oga send me message say make I go buy fuel. And my oga must not hear oh; my own don finish.”

Let me just cut the long story short. You know police now, they seized the car and told him to go and tell his oga to come and take the car from their station. I was just laughing at the mumu boy as he was begging from one policeman to another. I was already near my bus stop, so I just took a bike home and left Johnny with the policemen.

I know now that he has learnt his lesson and will never pass his boundary again. I know say some people go talk say wetin I do too bad; abeg my people, wetin I do wey bad oh?

I am signing out jare, and will be back next week with another sweet tori… till then, I remain your one and only Miss WakaWaka.

Barbie Tee

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