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Tuesday, 10 December 2013

[CRAZY ME] SAMSON And DELILAH: Craziest LOVER BOY Ever Existed

I just discovered I am not a nice guy — don’t let my visuals and audio fool you — my drama is all about removing whatever costume you have on and have my weapon of mass pleasure have you blown all over the props; and if I do not leave you lifeless when I am done, it is sure that you will be reeling away with every cell in your body shouting hallelujah. Story, eh? How about we act it and take over the whole of ‘nollywood’ with the motion picture?

Miley should just say, “Mikell, oya!!
It is so funny how #MikellzBluez started and many of my female bed-ual admirers took off — like the “d**ks took flight” in Jay-Z’s ‘Holy Grail’ rap — with the fear I will someday come here to write a chronicle about whatever we might have together. Little do they know that not every fling or relationship is that interesting to put into words… like your friend asked about your time with that new girl that just left your room and you just be like: “err… she was there”!

For the records, ‘good girls’ bore me, so I either turn them to freaks or drop them off without notice. And I keep some crazy bad girls, they are so crazy that whenever we shoot a movie, they act better than stars (you don’t want a movie like that to leak and see her not ‘ruling the world’ like Kim K — oops! I mean Beyoncé). And yes, I have some very crazy girls that are already getting worried that I am yet to write about them like: “get this shit out there, Mikell; I want to read about me already”!

Yes! Bad Girls Like These!!
Wait, do I sound like a bad guy? Oh no, far from it — I am just addicted to bad girls and I love doing crazy things. And from records, I heard some very powerful pastors (or should I say ‘men of God’) actually got married to women with super powers (salute to all the women that can fly with no cape on and a large ‘S’ on their chests — you’re sure doper than superman) and my question is: how did that ever happen? Well, there are many questions on this earth with answers only in heaven. So, tell me why all of you are so quick to castigate Samson for his ‘blind love’ for Delilah?

Oh? I said ‘blind love’ and that answers it all, eh? Please, what is love if it is not blind? I am not a doctor of love and the fact that the love out here now possesses a perfect sight — and is even registered with an optician in case of any slightest accident — is the reason I am not inclined to believe that love exists! Romeo and Juliet was a story, right? What of Mark Antony and Cleopatra? Bonnie and Clyde? Alexander I of Serbia and Draga Masin? I don’t think there is love if you’re not going against what is called ‘normal’, and that was what happened in the case of Samson and Delilah!

Romeo And Juliet
Do you think it is a joke that T-Pain ‘is in love with a stripper’? Or do you think that ‘good girls’ falling in love with ‘bad guys’ and ‘bad girls’ that are being overly loved by ‘good guys’ are all fantasies? So, I don’t understand why you all are still busy judging Samson for falling in love for a woman, who was used by the enemy’s camp — isn’t that how many great men fell? And do you even know how gorgeous the said Delilah was, I am sure she must’ve been flyer than an eagle; my guy just had to port one time! The guy knew what he was getting into as he had once married from the enemy camp before.

Oh, Delilah eventually led Samson to his death? Well, if you check yourself properly, I am sure you will know that the woman with you is so killing you bit by bit, however you love it — now, that is love! Forget all those pretending characteristics of love; it is not love if it is not crazy and killing!

And yes, you may say Samson was the stupidest man in history, but tell me if your mouth don’t just run as soon as that woman grabs your balls like a keeper. Alright, he gave a fake secret the first time and they tried killing him (na play naw — no biggie), he did a second and third time, and death flew by — like I said, no love if it is not dangerously killing — but finally giving out his original secret is a lesson about sacrifice! Delilah didn’t lie to Samson, if you know; she just didn’t tell him her intentions, which he must’ve known from all the experiences he had before, no matter how keen the woman desired the knowledge. And yes, my man actually sacrificed his life for a trusted love — or what was it about if it wasn’t love? Now, how many of you are still opting for love? Fakers like you.

Love Like This Is Rare…
Oh, I have someone who is in love right now… his name is Kanye West! Don’t laugh at my nigga yo; he is really doing well at his love for Kim K. And just like Samson will tell you, I can say that not every successful man has a woman behind him trying to expand his success… I won’t say Kim is not supporting Kanye but since he has been involved with her, nigga kind of lost his magic wand in that hole and his tricks nowadays mostly appear forced. I read a recent report that only 4000+ fans showed up at one of his shows at a centre built to contain 16000+ people! So many aggressive stunts coming up every day and his ‘Yezzus’ tour shows getting postponed abruptly… someone said Ye is on his period, but I fear it is the stress of breastfeeding North.

Oh come on, love is beautiful… I just hope Kim is not the Delilah for Kanye, and we are all here witnessing the downfall of the once untouchable rapper! Mark Antony loved Cleopatra till death; Bonnie went all the way till the end with Clyde and you know that Titanic love story as well… Samson wasn’t different and he is the craziest of them all.

Bonnie And Clyde
So readers, please keep the love burning… till I come back again.


#Cwaziest

Note: We are changing the category from ‘Cwazie Moi’ to ‘Crazy Me’ … same thing, just a better spelling. *laughs*

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