BARBIE TEE’s DIARY | 2013 Christmas Season With Ms. Santa WakaWaka — Vol. 1

How una dey, my people? It is your girl, Santa Barbie Tee! You are asking yourself “when did she become Santa again”, well we all know the generally believed myth that Santa gives gifts and I believe say anybody wey fit look you sotey him give you something good, no matter the kine good thing e be, na the person be Santa. And are you wondering what is it I am giving? Well, through my stories I am giving you entertainment… yeske! Abi naw, I no dey hide anything from una, I swear! *laughs out* As I nice reach, I open myself up like a book for una to read and I no get any regret at all because of all the love and support wey una dey give me, especially the skyrocketing page views, in fact una dey make me happy.

And now wey we don dey the month of Christmas, I still dey kampe for una. Last week, I shock all of una with my philosophical side… well that is me; I am full of surprises, and you never can tell what to expect. And if you don’t want to miss out on the fun, ensure that you check #MikellzBluez blog weekly for fresh, fun and interesting posts.

Plenty interesting stories full my belle wey I wan talk. Plenty interesting things dey wey don happen to me in the past that I can’t wait to spit out but I just have to gist you, my people, about something that is happening to me right now. And this story is about me and my oga pikin, Mr Tokunbo.

Na jejely I sit down for office one day wey my oga kon call driver say make he go carry his son from the airport. I don’t know much about my oga’s children, and have never met anyone of them before because they are all abroad. I only know his wife and if you ask for my opinion about my oga wife, I will say that the woman doesn’t fit my oga at all; she just tall fat and doesn’t know how to dress… but that one no be my business, na my oga know wetin he see for her body.

So back to my story, I was sitting at my desk later that day when the driver came in with boxes; I knew that any minute, my oga’s son would walk in, so I composed myself and formed seriousness. God knows I was expecting my oga’s son to be a teenage boy but when the person walked in, my composure slacked and my jaw dropped; the person that came in was a full grown young man and I swear he was the most handsome guy I have ever seen in my life. I started tripping immediately, there is no girl that will see this guy and not trip, and even a nun will deny her vows sharply. He was tall, clean shaved and oh mama yo — handsome! In fact, he was beautiful.

I immediately entered my Barbie Tee mode, I was smiling from ear to ear even though the guy didn’t pay attention to me — I wanted that smile to be on my face by the time he saw me. He greeted and hugged his dad, and greeted everybody in general — he didn’t pay serious attention to anybody else apart from his dad. They went into my oga’s office to continue their conversation, and I started thinking of what to do to make this guy notice me… then a plan formed in my head, and I got into action sharp sharp!

I took my makeup bag (emergency kit) and went to the ladies room. I reapplied everything I had applied before; trust me with the powder and the lip stick, and even small cologne was sprayed. Thank God I wore one of my super push-up bras but I still shifted my boobs up; this is “Operation Seduce The Guy” and I must accomplish my mission. I looked at the mirror and took a picture with my phone to be sure of my look… and also to keep as a reminder of that day.

I stepped out of the entrance and the cleaner was there. She looked at me and it was written all over her face that she was surprised at my rebranded appearance. I asked her “wetin you dey look?”  And she stammered “nothing ma.” I said “better” as I walked into the main office and I went straight to my oga’s office to carry on my mission.

I walked into the office and the “tokunbo” guy was on phone — Fhuck! Bad timing. Then I went to a cabinet behind my oga and started searching for nothing… this mission na win or die; abi you no know? My oga didn’t talk because I usually go through his cabinet for files normally but I know if I stay too long, he will question me, so I was just hoping that the guy would finish his phone conversation on time.

And immediately he finished, I took one file and turned around to greet him, my oga then introduced me as his secretary. We shook hands and mehn, the guy’s hands were so soft that I didn’t want to let go. Immediately he greeted me, my oga asked me some questions pertaining to work, to which I answered and took my leave. See that oga trying to block my shine, I sha left the office sashaying and shaking my bumbum so that the guy will notice if he ever looked back.

I went back to my desk hoping that the guy would come out and notice me again, but when he came out he didn’t even look at my side at all. Mr Tokunbo left with his dad and that was it — nothing to show that all my seduction worked! I was not happy at all and everybody I came in encounter with that night knew… even the conductor of the bus I boarded home felt the anger because I brought the roof down when he refused to give me change on time.

That Guy dey form Steve Wonder, eh?

However, when I got home, my thoughts changed. Shebi the guy is still around and e sure say he go always come to him papa office, yes? Ehn, if he didn’t notice me that day, he will notice me another day naw. As long as he is still in this Nigeria, I will not stop until I get this guy.

And less I forget, season’s greetings to you ojare… I remain your sweetest girl, Ms. WakaWaka.

Barbie Tee

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