Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts

Thursday, 13 February 2014

[VALENTINE’s SPECIAL] #MikellzBluez Vantazy Valentine | CRAZY ME


Valentine is in the air!!! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! But what is it all about? Is it not another Christmas in barely six weeks?! Oh! Do you mean that I am over-reacting?! Okay, I ‘collect’ but can you ask a girl to spot the differences between the two? Other than no Christmas trees and lights, and you may not necessarily kill a chicken or cow… Christmas and Valentine’s Days are both the same when it comes to gifts—in a girl’s mind! I doubt if a man won’t even spend more on gifts during Valentine compared to Christmas!

Wednesday, 22 January 2014

[Random Talk] Things You May Never Know … Refresh Your Brain!


Any introduction needed? I doubt! Just read through this carefully and painstakingly compiled facts … and thank us when you’re done!

Do you know that Rick Ross is not worth more than Nicki Minaj and Kendrick Lamar? Did someone just say it’s not by size?

Thursday, 9 January 2014

Celebrity Of The Week: Bright “BasketMouth” Okpocha [@basket_mouth]


As a gallant survivor of the recent massive attack he received from some of his female fans for his very funny “RAPE” joke, #MikellzBluez will like to honour the super hilarious BasketMouth as our very first Celebrity of the Week. And if you ask for my opinion about the controversial joke, I will tell you that BasketMouth just nailed the shit again—it was so on point!

Tuesday, 7 January 2014

Tuesday, 31 December 2013

[CRAZY ME] GOODBYE TO 2013 | MY 2014 CRAZY RESOLUTIONS


Oh yes! It seemed like I would never write this piece… but fhuck it, everyone already did their version, and I can act the ‘best that is being saved for the last’ and give you this crazy shit in the last hours of the year!

Wednesday, 25 December 2013

[CRAZY ME] MERRY CRAZY CHRISTMAS!! | ★★★ Mikell's Christmas ShoutOuts ★★★

Yaaaaaaaaaaaayyy! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! How so loving that this post is dropping on Christmas Eve — did I hear someone say perfect timing? Tell you what; even Rolex can’t give you that shit. Mehn! Christmas is in the air and the craze is overwhelming… the way people are on the hyper side of life; you would think they have been waiting for this moment since last year’s Boxing Day.

Thursday, 19 December 2013

[CRAZY ME] FRESH OUT Of The TOILET…

Grunting hard with your eyes almost popping out of their sockets — like a madman giving a madwoman his raging pipe — as a very thick manshit softly finds its way out of your shithouse like a prisoner obtaining his freedom… you leave the lavatory with your mind screaming “free at last” whereas it is the long imprisoned shit that just left your body that is actually “free” in this situation. Don’t mind me, I know the feeling though… like some unseen body-cuff comes on you as soon as the shit grabs you; hence you shout “I am ‘pressed’” *chuckles*

Thursday, 12 December 2013

Sunday, 8 December 2013

BARBIE TEE’s Diary | Exotic Life And Times Of Ms. WakaWaka — Vol.4

Yawning out loud … I just woke up anyway; my oga is not in the office today, so i have nothing much doing. And body need rest, I can’t kill myself; so I just put my head on my desk and before I knew it, I don doze … then it hit me when I remembered the dream I had — in fact, a bad dream — in the dream, I saw me and Johnny kissing! God forbid, I shall never have anything to do with that houseboy in my life; maybe I am getting my own reward for punishing him, but thank God it was just a dream (CLICK HERE if you want to know what I did to Johnny). Anyways my people, make we put Johnny story for one side — good riddance to bad rubbish — make we talk about the story of today.

Tuesday, 3 December 2013

#FLICKS | FUNNY PHOTO Of The Week … “even a sadist will laugh at this”

…And boom! I just can’t stop laughing … beautiful girl, but oh lawd! *rolls to Madagascar*

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Sunday, 1 December 2013

BARBIE TEE’s Diary | Exotic Life And Times Of Ms. WakakWaka - Vol. 3

I am singing the very interesting part of D’Banj’s ‘Don’t Tell Me Nonsense’, “Eyin boys, e gba oju e!” to all the enemies that want to stop my shine! But to all my fans, I am saying, “I love you all.” But no go sing that song in front of ‘area boys’ oh, na God I take beg you.

Gbagaun! Gbagaun!! Gbagaun!!! As Yoruba people dey talk am, make all the people wey dey house tell all those wey don comot say Barbie Tee don come again — the only Miss WakaWaka of Nigeria, another one is a counterfeit. When breeze blow fowl yansh, na me dey first see am … as we don start this journey together, na to just continue with me. And every week, I promise to give you all the update of wetin my eyes see, wetin my ear hear, wetin my mouth talk, wetin my nose smell, wetin my hand do, and most importantly, where my leg waka go… I no dey tire and till I grow old and my back bend, I go still dey waka.

Thursday, 28 November 2013

#FLICKS | CAPTION THIS Photo Of The Week!!

CAPTION THIS Photo for this week!

Last week was fun with all the hilarious captions you dropped in the Comment Box … endeavour to do more this week, and remember the One Rule: be Crazy and Funny!!

Friday, 22 November 2013

BARBIE TEE’s Diary | Ms. WakaWaka At Peter Okoye’s Wedding

Hey my people, as Timaya dey talk am; me sef don come again oh! I remain your very pretty Barbie Tee aka Miss WakaWaka, the girl wey no dey carry last. I wan thank all of you for all the love and support wey you dey dash me; you just dey make me dey happy, and make you no worry — I will reward all my faithful fans very soon.

Thursday, 21 November 2013

#FLICKZ | CAPTION THIS Photo Of The Week!!


CAPTION THIS Photo for this week!
 Last week was fun with all the hilarious captions you dropped in the Comment Box … endeavor to do more this week, and remember the One Rule: be Crazy and Funny!!
  
From #MikellzBluez: “Somebody kill that fucking RAT!”

Rozay Rusty

Monday, 18 November 2013

#FLICKZ | FUNNY PHOTO Of The Week!!


LMAO!

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ATTENTION: BRAND NEW Segments on #MikellzBluez you MUST READ BARBIE TEE’s DIARY and CELEB BUZZ. Enjoy….

Sunday, 10 November 2013

[FLICKZ] FUNNY PHOTO Of The Week!!


Just that thing you do to people disturbing your peace … leave them HANGING!


Mikell

Thursday, 7 November 2013

[HOT DEBUT] BARBIE TEE’s Diary | Exotic Life And Times Of Ms. WakaWaka – Part 1

Let me start by introducing myself; my name is Barbie Tee, the self-proclaimed Miss WakaWaka of Nigeria. The only human being wey don travel pass Ajala wey don travel round the world, my eyes dey see pass binoculars and my ears dey pick sounds even when dem dey silent.

I am a confirm Naija babe oh. See me looking all ‘tushed’, don’t be deceived, I dey enter all the paraga joints in my locality as much as I dey crash clubs on the Lagos Island. I am that niggress that will buy ‘bend down and select’, rock it on the red carpet, and when the anchor ask, I will simply tell her I bought it from a London boutique… we all took the Packaging 101 Course naw — my favorite!

I have a policy of give and take; so if you, as a man, want to enter my territory, you need to have plenty of money because na money I dey take survive! And God forbid, I will never do ‘osho free’ all in the name of love!

Monday, 4 November 2013

[FLICKZ] CAPTION THIS Photo Of The Week!!


CAPTION THIS is back for the week!
We want our readers to express their crazy creativity by placing funny captions for this photo in the Comment Box... enjoy!

From US at #MikellzBluez: I Believe I Can Fly... *singing*


Rozay Rusty

Sunday, 3 November 2013

[FLICKS] FUNNY PHOTO Of The Week!!

There is no time I set my eyes on this picture and not laugh my lungs out … and Yes! It just made the #MikellzBluez Funny Photo Of The Week!!


Enjoy the laugh … I'm out!

Mikell ★

Wednesday, 23 October 2013

SUPER FUNNY • [CRAZY ME] Short Age

Hello! I think I am getting better … who the blond (my replacement for the F-word; genius, eh?) is you? Oh nurse, you are here with my meds? I should put off my boxers; I want my anus to drink the syrup this time! Oh shii (yes, you should picture a filled up latrine right now), what are you doing with my chocolate bar, nurse? You mean you want me to give you an injection too? Hmmmnnn… sweet, I like the way you are unwrapping my choc, nurse … Mikell, yes that is my name… YEEEEESSSSS! Blond it! I was dreaming; moms can like to interrupt everything! And I won’t answer her this time; instead I will have my hands go up and down on my God-given massive pen and write this Blog Post with the white ink after….

Yes, I know the title of this post is short age and you just read something short like a second ago. Just give me a paragraph and let me quickly write something about an age I read about before I write about both words.

Yes, I can’t remember the book I read but the writer was about deception, and one of his examples was dated back around the medieval era. He wrote about a strange but confident man who came into London from a nearby village but claimed he was from a far place, where all Londoners wished to go but never privileged to. This man fabricated lots of lies about the entire culture of this far place and he became highly influential and wealthy eventually. I instantly wrote such deception off as invalid because everybody now has a map and eyes are open as well. But can someone tell me how Goodluck Ebele Jonathan became your president (yes, your president — I sure didn’t vote for him)? Well, that nigga sold you the story of a sandal-less boy and instantly made a bridge between the medieval and this age for Nigerians. What could I say when everyone was naming him the messiah back then? Good luck.

It is a funny world, and a beautiful one — I must admit. And the world is never stopping; always developing — with different ages, they usually say. In this world, they had Stone Age, Wood Age, Metal Age, Plastic Age … Jet Age, Computer Age … but I think we are now in the SHORT AGE!

No, if you don’t believe me, then look around you — the mobile devices shrinked from big-for-nothing to paper-slim phones; I learnt they used to build a house for computers when it was invented, okay they reduced it to desktop with time … what will you say of palm-tops and tablets now?

You would need a video player (VCR, VCD before DVD) and a television to watch mojo before, but it is mobile on your small Nokia phone now. And I remember buying loads of CDs for my SONY CD Walkman back in the days, but Apple Inc. thought and said, “Why can’t we have a room full of CDs in just one device so small that we can use it as a tie-clip?”

Everything is unbelievably small now, even our GIRLS! Where are the tall girls? All I see around are short ladies, or should I say Little Women (proudly calling themselves cute and petit; you’re just a tall midget, sweetheart!)? And the irony is their love for tall and huge men; have you written your last will and testament, babe?

I see some men with these succinct sisters and the pictures that flood my head instantly make me conclude: nothing is impossible! Well, I am also guilty (a repetitive victim of the concise set-up) and I am already having myself a self-conviction even if I'm not being charged with CHILD MOLESTATION!

David and Goliath?

Mikell © 2013

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Cwazie Moi is a NEW segment on #MikellzBluez. If you write crazy stuffs, we welcome write-ups via mikellzbluez@gmail.com but we may not be able to post everything. Thanks.

Other NEW segments recently added to #MikellzBluez are INSPIRE, POEM, FLICKZ and PROMO. Check them out as well. Thanks.

#MikellzBluez is open to comments, criticism, inquiries, and contributions. Reach us via mikellzbluez@gmail.com or Mikell’s Twitter and Facebook Accounts. Thanks.