[DOUBLE JUICE] #MBz44 – My First Night In A Jail Cell — Part III

“MBzers, I got locked up … they won’t let me out!”

Yes, even if they want to let you out, will you want to leave when you are dealing with one of the policewomen “personally”? The woman will even implicate you to stay more, if your magic stick has the power to teleport her to and from the pyramids in Egypt….

[THE TWIST] #MBz43 – My First Night In A Jail Cell — Part II

“MBzers, I got locked up … they won’t let me out!”

Here we go again … and I am not sorry for not telling you what took me there. I can’t tell you no story that you won’t pay for… by the time you’re done with this episode, you will know how I got paid for sharing my story. So, feel free to contact me if you are willing to pay as well, then, I will give you an exclusive story session….

[FRESH SEQUEL] #MBz42 – My First Night In A Jail Cell — Part I

“MBzers, I got locked up … they won’t let me out!”

You may envisage my crossed arms “Konvict” sign as you read that line again… I bet you clicked on this post with many crazy questions on your mind like: “what is this again?”, “is Mikell going crazy or something?”, “did he really spend a night in jail?”, “why on earth would Mikell stay a night in a cell?”, and some of you presently in jail will ask, “what brought you here?”

[My Bluez Exclusive] How I Almost Crushed My Twitter Crush … by Abraham | #MBzer Of The Month [January]

Hi guys my name ιs Alodinho, nσ† one of my well known nicknames †нσugh. I’m nσ† much of α story teller, I don’t kiss αη∂ tell either; just wanna give MBzers something “blogocracy” to read.

Lemme just get on wι†н †нε story, shall we? Okay cool!

Hmmm… Titi! Yes, that’s her name. Sorry guys, I’m nσ† going to use her handle because she does nσ† tweet anymore… although I would нαvε loved †σ cc her handle because she mentioned me ιη her last tweet, which was about—chill, lemme check her handle, okay—217 days from now. *covers face*

[My Bluez] Painful Pasts: How I Blew “30 Million In One Night” … by Tega

“…thirty million in one night…thirty million in one night…thirty million in one night…thirty million in one night…thirty million in one night…thirty million in—”

That very line in Jay-Z’s “Holy Grail” rap kept ringing in my head like a spoilt compact disc in a CD player, as I sat down wondering what I just did to myself… that line wasn’t made for Mike Tyson alone, I swear! How did I even get myself in this godforsaken situation?

#MBz HIGHLIGHTS | Aminat And Her XXXPLOSIVE Italian Job — Part I to IV

Yo #MBzers!

You are welcome to the #MikellzBluez highlights… take a bowl of popcorn, have a seat and re-watch as every scene unfolds with successive inclination to reach the climax of your ultimate satisfaction—put your pants back on, pervs! Yeah, I sure picked my line from the previous highlight—well, it’s mine, so I didn’t steal shit! Anyways, I know you would be lying if you say you didn’t enjoy the last Bluez sequel… so these are the brief highlights for those that missed them, and direct links to also see the full posts, enjoy!

[FINALE] #MBz41 - Aminat And Her XXXPLOSIVE Italian Job — Part IV

“Baby, I was born this way … I was born this—” Sharrrraappp! Don’t just piss me the fhuck off, otherwise I will transfer the anger I was born with on you! Oh, so you don’t know that an average Nigerian is born with anger, eh? And like the problems of Nigeria are not enough, you cursed homo mothafuckas thought it was time to install your plugin… but thanks to God for the once-in-a-lifetime-sensible lawmakers, who didn’t wait for the fire to spread beyond control like “boko” before they pour water on it.

[My Bluez] Sweet Secrets: “Killing” Sharon, The Amazing ASSassin … by Cas

Hi, I’m Cas… nope, not my real name. I’ve been putting off sending this story for so long but the urge to share this with you guys is just too much for me to resist, so here I am airing my dirty linens … why are you covering your nose naw? It still smells fresh…no be you wan read story ni? Before I start with the story, let me tell you guys a little about myself: I’m 19, insanely handsome and very well endowed… seriously, Mikell has got nothing on me.

#MBz40 - Aminat And Her Italian XXXPLOSIVE Job — Part III

Someone once asked via comments if these are the most appropriate shits to write about, considering the many bullshits happening in the world today like there are not enough websites and blogs distributing news by the second… no, I won’t engage my creativity in a room so stuffy that even your original contents may not be appreciated as there are lots of these lazy mofos waiting to steal them without even giving you credit. I am here doing my thing in my own way—something few popular bloggers do—and I am proud to inform you that I am growing every day with this… just wait till you see Ellen DeGeneres or Oprah Winfrey feature me on their shows before you know that this is effing real.

#MBz39 - Aminat And Her Italian XXXPLOSIVE Job — Part II

It is very funny but so true that some people are in the year 2014 while many others are in 2013C… meaning the New Year actually gives nothing to many except for the change in calendar. But tell you what: #MikellzBluez has started giving out super new shits and is promising to give you more, even if nothing is making the New Year anything new to you.

[2014's FIRST] #MBz38 - Aminat And Her XXXPLOSIVE Italian Job — Part I

*stretches*

Oh my urrrrggghh! 2013 was a year… now, this is 2014. My crossover night had been so long, or why am I just waking up? So, being the first to read my words in the New Year, let me tell you this line that I’ve been hearing for almost three decades but don’t know if it at all affects the whole year… “Happy New Year”!

#MBz HIGHLIGHTS | Mikell’s XXXPLOSIVE Christmas Cruise — Part I to VI

Happy New Year #MBzers!

You are welcome to #MikellzBluez ver. 14… take a bowl of popcorn, have a seat and watch as every scene unfolds with successive inclination to reach the climax of your ultimate satisfaction—put your pants back on, pervs! How were the holidays at your side? It was pretty xxxplosive over here, and for all those who missed—and those who like to re-read—the six days consecutive sequels that we rolled out to make the Christmas Season a special one to all our readers, here are the highlights and direct links to read the each part in full.

[Season’s Special] #MBz37 - Mikell’s Christmas Cruise — Part VI

YYAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

It’s a day to the New Year! Yes, a day to another year and everybody is rushing up and down; where do you think they are going? Their villages, where they will sure spend super less cash to celebrate the New Year — it’s been a hard year mehn! Even our folks abroad aren’t coming around no more (to oppress and impress us) when they know that their credit cards will sure be maxed out days before they remember to buy a return ticket…. Sorry to the Igbo girls expecting to meet suitors from “obodo oyinbo” — better stick to that chemist guy in your street before it’s too late.

[Season’s Special] #MBz36 - Mikell’s Christmas Cruise — Part V

Telling you that a man was survived by three wives and nineteen children; do you still need to ask me what killed him? I think man was created to take some stupid risks with results that will live with them for eternity, or what would have made a man not to use a condom and even trigger him to explode inside the woman when he was neither ready to be a father nor a husband? And with the knowledge that women are irresistible and indispensible problems, a stupid man is not contended with one and thinks adding another will solve his problem; does he think they are pieces of boxers or cars…? A season’s advice for you:  cheat on your wife and you are simply adding to what will kill you….

[Season’s Special] #MBz35 - Mikell’s Christmas Cruise — Part IV

Don’t you think the way this Christmas Season went was funny? Everybody looking like someone stole their food! Clubs are not getting the legendary season’s rate of customer inflow, and tell you what:  the poulterers are praying that they won’t have to eat their chickens all by themselves! No matter how tough it had been in the past years, we still say “Merry Christmas” but how would we now say “merry” when there was almost no merriment?! I guess the only good English Patience Jonathan had spoken in recent time would be “Goodluck Christmas” — no merry this year!

[Season’s Special] #MBz34 - Mikell’s Christmas Cruise — Part III

Do you know the reason Santa comes as a fat ass old man? If the man that grants every gift request on Christmas happens to a young and sexy man, I bet the gift requests will be different and he would have been sentenced to several jails by different countries for child molestation! You still don’t get it? I bet all these girls wouldn’t be asking for toys but requesting for his autograph in their juicy centre, while he must use his dingdong as pen and cumtain as ink (Won’t you like to have Tyson Beckford’s autograph signed like that? Best Christmas gift ever, eh? Okay bye).

[Season’s Special] #MBz33 - Mikell’s Christmas Cruise — Part II

If I should ask you to tell me what you got for Christmas yesterday, I know you will come up with some fantastic list that are actually fantastic! And a fabulous list will surely be provided if I should ask what presents you shared for Christmas… but you may also be factual with your list, who knows? I’m just writing. And today is the Boxing Day! If you are yet to box anything; try and start your momma — boxing or boxing, just don’t sleep without doing any!

[Season’s Special] #MBz32 - Mikell’s XXXPLOSIVE Christmas Cruise — Part I

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Season’s Special Greetings from #MikellzBluez to all our readers, followers, fans, lovers, haters, supporters, emulators, minions, sweethearts, friends and family! You are welcome to this year’s Mikell’s (and Pablo’s) Christmas Cruise, which will be dropping every day, from today till the last day of the year… so, don’t effing miss any episode as they promise to be XXXPLOSIVE!

THE FINAL SHOWDOWN! #MBz31 Sadiq’s Thirst For My LOLLYPOP — Part IV

“She says she likes my lolli and she gon make it pop…” get the keyword: SHE. So, what is with all these HEs trying to pop my lolly? I am even tired of writing about these sick bunch of men, so I am rounding this story up today… it is Christmas season and I don’t you to miss my Christmas Cruise!

BLUEZ NOW BIGGER! #MBz30 Sadiq’s Thirst For My LOLLYPOP — Part III

“It’s a beautiful night, and I’m looking for something dumb to do; hey baby, I think I wanna marry you” it really must be something dumb to marry a girl when there are many indicators on you that portray your preference for the same gender when it comes to love. No, I am not saying Bruno Mars is gay… but who knows? Just check the guy out in the picture above, I don’t think he needs a billboard for you to see the point.