So
funny how women complicate simple things and when you, as a man, fail to
understand the situation, you will find yourself all alone — no, just you and
your balls. Funny how man is always expected to do the impossible —
mindreading! It is funny how women find it super difficult to ask for something
directly but make some mindless statement and expect you to pick out the
keywords. Funny how only God can understand women, as they can’t even understand
themselves.
 |
| ...and man is expected to see through like he has x-ray for eyes |
And
I am so sure that Eminem started
performing his “Ass Like That” rap
in Sadiq’s head as soon as I walked
in front of him the first day we met in my neighbour’s room that he thought a
best way to crack me was to present an irresistible movie opportunity. Wait, I am
yet to tell you what the movie was to be about … alright, on this episode, we
shall know all about the movie; just follow.
Okay,
whatever the movie was all about, I was so down to feature and make some cool
cash for me, most especially when the producers are not from the very much
loathed ‘nollywood’ film makers. So,
I started marketing my acting skills that I spent my pre-degree days with a
drama group in my student fellowship and I had even taken a lead role in an
all-student-fellowship drama presentation before… but with all I had said to
nail my interest for the movie in his mind, this guy just said, “I don’t think
you can act this movie I am talking about.”
“What?”
but this guy didn’t reply my question but asked me something so very off-point
(but so on-point to him): “you like ‘straffing’ a lot, right?” he asked, “How
long does it take you to knock out? How many rounds can you on a roll? And how
long does it take you to stand up after a knock out?” I was a bit confused
about the need for these questions as he appeared to me as a person that
loathes straffing… but as the movie was all I had on my mind, I quickly gave
him the truth about my youthful strength and energy.
 |
| “how long can you go?” |
But
can you believe that Sadiq kept repeating his doubt that I would be able to
feature…? I almost slapped my point into his head. “What is in the movie? Is it
not acting? Haven’t you seen me act with UCAAD (University Christian
Association of Ado-Ekiti or something — I can’t remember) Drama Group before?” I
asked with my brain already converting eight hundred thousand dollars into
naira, “please, don’t confess negativity into my life oh; I will do!”
After
much suspense, Sadiq let the head of the cat (note: not the whole cat) out of
the bag, and yours sincerely, it was a “BLUE
FILM” the guy was talking about. And I was still like: “So what? The girls will
be tested for STDs and shiiz, won’t they? I’ve been spending money to bless
these girls with my weapon of mass pleasure; you are telling me that some
people want to pay me for doing the shii for free and you think I won’t do it;
are you mad? Please, where are they because I am already spending the money
mentally?!”
Then
Sadiq digressed a bit to ask about my strength and ability again, and since I then
have the idea of what the movie was to be about (but to now think of his
original intention for asking those questions and my enthusiastic answers is fvcking
hilarious), I told him the length of my first and second rounds with my ability
to stay reloaded after the first round. He calmly listened to every detail like
a sick bastard that he was, and gently told me that the movie makers are not
into man-woman movies as there were lots of those around. He then explained
that they are into the man-man
movies because those were scarce and the craze and demand for them was wildly
high as men-only club was just getting legalized at different part of the world
at that time….
 |
| “let us make a ‘blue film’” |
…MikellzBluez
Continues…
#MBz29
© 2013
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