Sunday 2 February 2014

[DOUBLE JUICE] #MBz44 – My First Night In A Jail Cell — Part III


MBzers, I got locked up … they won’t let me out!
Yes, even if they want to let you out, will you want to leave when you are dealing with one of the policewomen “personally”? The woman will even implicate you to stay more, if your magic stick has the power to teleport her to and from the pyramids in Egypt….



0300hours — next day
Almost an hour since we started and I still had my massive bolt getting hammered into the policewoman’s nut, while we stayed silent through it all as best as we could. She had lowered her uniform pants down and rested her front on a table as she remained standing with her back to me… did you say that she wouldn’t want to be looking at me in the face as she took unofficial orders from me? Tell you what: shooting a police up like this is one of the world’s greatest feelings—add it to your bucket list, real niggas!

I smacked this policewoman’s butt like some porn star but she didn’t mind, just like she’d not been doing for the past forty-five minutes… then I felt a hard smack on my butt as well—from karma or a ghost—which made me almost break my candle in the policewoman. “Oh shit!” I felt like I had a superpower to vanish but the shit was failing to power up at that moment… “And I thought about this shit oh; see me getting so fucked up eventually!

"OMG! Didn't Beyonce say she was in Africa? What are we going to do now, Rihanna?
“Guy, you are strong oh,” a strange feminine voice came to my ears as I stood frozen from the smack I received, while my man remained a strong soldier in the war zone he was—Mehn! That nigga don’t know when to fall back—and I thought who from hell was that, “don’t you want to touchdown ni? I also booked a ticket to your private jet, boy… it’s almost an hour now that I’ve been watching and helping myself with my fingers.”

Word?! Word?! Word?!” I thought I was sure no one was in the room with us… where did woman say she’d been watching us from? Heaven? And did she just say that she also booked a ticket to—OMG! I should scream; I was about to be raped by two beautifully sexy policewomen!

The new woman drew me out of her colleague, had me sat on a chair, and automatically knelt, as soon as I settled down, to milk the juice out of my juice stick! Oh the first woman wouldn’t let her do all the stress all alone, so she joined her and they both clamoured for a shower of white gems on their faces… but remember what I told you in the recently concluded “Aminat And Her XXXPLOSIVE Italian Job” sequel, no one—even two—has been able to milk me with just her—or their—mouth(s).

“This boy is a real piece of work, Jessy,” the new woman said while the Jessy chipped in “Rock!”, “only God knows if he will ever erupt sweet lava for us to lick.”

"Did someone just call me 'Mr Capable'?"
“You don’t think I am here on double shifts straight and also made sure he was safe for jokes,” Jessy replied, “I could tell that he was a machine as soon as I saw him….”

1900hours — arrest day
It was already getting dark, and it was so unlikely that I would make it out of that police station that evening… as it was obviously Mikell against the world—oops, the police. I could read their minds as they walked up and down and passing looks at me, “oh this one still dey here… na there you go grow!

“If I were you, I will make sure I enter that cell when there’s still light for those criminals to recognise my face, so I won’t be picked on once it is dark.” A feminine voice said.

I heard, turned and saw it was still the policewoman earlier called “Jessy” that was talking to me… and I thought, “very well, I am not you; even if I am sleeping over in this station, definitely not in one dirty cell—I am not a criminal … and what’s your deal in this matter sef?” if only I knew what she was planning for me, but I was grateful that she made sure that I was not touched by the hoodlums in the cell at all.

“You should hold like two hundred naira with you and give it to the guys,” she further advised, “otherwise they will be on you.”

I told her I wasn’t going to sleep in any cell, even if I would pass the night in their station, and she replied, “you better make up your mind on time… no one is allowed to sleep in the offices here and you are definitely not going home tonight!” I bet in her mind, she was probably saying something else, “…even if they release you to go home, I will re-arrest you ni!

"I have my thoughts for you...to bring you to an 'expected end'"
In the next few minutes, I just found myself entering the jail cell. The guys came to me like hungry dogs but I held out a N200 note like a big bone to quench their aggression and make their mouth water… they snatched the money from my hands like it was the last sachet of blood available in a world full of vampires. And thus, I made a deal with the demons in order to enjoy my stay in hell… or what will you call that?

And when one unsatisfied idiot thought he could milk some more cash from me, I just heard and saw “Officer Jessy” warning the “mofo” off… “No! No! No! Don’t you harm that guy!”

0400hours — next day
“No! No! No! Don’t you harm that guy!”

“I am not harming him, Jessy!” the new woman screamed back like: BITCH DON’T KILL MY VIBE! “I-I-I am only…ri-riding him ha-harder and I be-believe he-he—oh shit—he’s strong enough for it!”

This other woman, whom Jessy had once called “Gloria”, had pulled up her uniform skirt and had been getting wild on me like some clinically insane cowgirl for more than forty minutes. And Jessy had kept one of my hands under her while I didn’t stop using the three middle fingers to continually turn on her showers of blessing from within. The sweetest part of this official rape is both women singing that they must make sure I wreck their mortar with my pestle as they may never be blessed with the opportunity to be pounded this good again for a long time!

Ask "Jessy" and "Gloria" about Mikell and they gon be like...
If Deji knew that getting me arrested would have me blessing two beautiful women simultaneously with the magnanimity of my “Rod of Moses”, he would’ve preferred exchanging locations with me at that moment… as a matter of fact, I should buy him a carton of his favourite beer to thank him for the arrest!

Another thirty minutes later, the women knelt down in front of me as I exploded my juice on their faces, and I felt like a king—scratch that, a god—killer with this weapon of mass pleasure I am blessed with…. And after cleaning and dressing up, the other woman promised to put in word for my immediate discharge as soon as the DPO arrived that morning. I was glad for the offer but was instantly saddened… as here we go again.

“What brought you here?”


…MikellzBluez Continues…
#MBz44 © 2014

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