Saturday 22 February 2014

[My Bluez] Touching Tales: PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS by @wilDEE__


I plagued my stomach with a plate of hot pepper soup. An excuse to avoid a proper breakfast, but that was all I could afford—for now, I guess. At least, it was something; something to keep my mouth warm and my eyes sharp.

Kissed my wife goodbye and hoped I was back at home by 9:00PM.

Gone…. Gone after the fast life of chasing those ‘danfos’ if I plan on getting into any. Avoided the ‘mopols’ for unnecessary early morning slap; I had to find my way to the top with clear eyes, not a red one. And I still have to make it to work before 7:30AM.

Still in the morning rush; morning bus, Lagos traffic, Gala and Lacasera—brunch is served—perfect combination to withstand the heat and noise from the street… why am I forgetting the ‘agberos’ here?! This is Gidi; if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere… even Heaven!

That was funny, right? Not quite. Boss handed me a query for coming late; did I mention that I do that like every day?! But no worries, he was as guilty as I was… only just angry that I won the “Late Game” today. This was just another excuse for him to sleep all through the day, leaving the major work for me. But hey! Who was I to judge?

I was seriously busy with something else… texting my baby’s mama, who was nagging me on not fulfilling my obligations as a father. She threatened to spill it all out to my darling wife. I had to slap her with a hundred thousand quid for her to shut her dirty mouth up—Hoeloshi! Unfortunately, that was my one-year salary. I dey vex! I wan faint, but not likely I would faint; my system doesn’t collapse like that.

So, I had to package that entire frustration home… to my baby. She welcomed me with a smile, but I angrily asked for my food instead, and she gave me the straight-face.

“It is on the table” she hissed and walked away. And I just went to consume the ‘mountain’ she left for me on the table.

Wait a minute! Wasn’t she wearing her favourite night-gown—my favourite actually—the short revealing one? Lord! She was in the mood; that was why she prepared my favourite meal….

I raced for the stairs, into the room, trying to save whatever chance I had left. My entire attempt to get freaky with her was futile. Even after trying to push some of her buttons, I still didn’t get any network. She was angry and I was horny—bad market!

"I don fhurck up..."
“Sleep on the couch! Sleep on the floor! Sleep outside or anywhere you want! But please, don’t touch my body!”

She covered herself up—that was a sign of “no hope”. There was no point trying to force her. I know my wife, she might appear small but she is strong—really strong—so, I left her.

Now resting helplessly on the floor, fourth night in a roll, I thought to myself, “What a day… and the same fate await me tomorrow. But I thought things would change when I had all I wanted—a good job and a loving wife—but why am I still in PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS?


Prince “PRYNCZZ WONDA” Ekpemandu | @wilDEE__ [twitter]

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