[Season’s Special] #MBz34 - Mikell’s Christmas Cruise — Part III

Do you know the reason Santa comes as a fat ass old man? If the man that grants every gift request on Christmas happens to a young and sexy man, I bet the gift requests will be different and he would have been sentenced to several jails by different countries for child molestation! You still don’t get it? I bet all these girls wouldn’t be asking for toys but requesting for his autograph in their juicy centre, while he must use his dingdong as pen and cumtain as ink (Won’t you like to have Tyson Beckford’s autograph signed like that? Best Christmas gift ever, eh? Okay bye).

This Christmas, even the police and traffic officials on the roads are Oliver Twist! You can’t move two-kilometre distance without meeting a checkpoint — did I say checkpoint? I meant PAY POINT (They ain’t checking shidd; just harassing commercial drivers)! If they can protect shidd, some faceless Islamic terrorists won’t be confidently blowing and killing many during the Christmas Season. Gone are the days the bokos came threatening to blow people up as they noticed that people are dying of hunger and blowing them don’t mean shidd to them… that’s more like helping them out of their misery quick — or will you just show them the bomb?

Well, it’s because of these notorious killing sprees that Mikell decided to continue his cruise right from the North, take it to the East and the South, and then return home like Odyssey to crash on the Western girls, who are keeping their south-side juicy for his fleshy spear! He just had to tick the Northern girls on his To-Do list on time — the Yarinyas may not survive the attacks if they continue like this! And he also needs your prayers that he makes it back successfully because he just left Kaduna and had been to Zamfara and Maiduguri earlier in the week — I will gist you about his trips in those places soon.

Girls love Mikell... this is not Mikell though

If you are still wondering what happened nights ago when Oluchi jumped on Mikell in his house, you are definitely not far from truth to guess that she must have smoked Mikell’z Magnum Cigar (with her south mouth) like 25 sessions (or what could she have used to step down the Champagne she took?). Well, you would have made the same guess if you’d seen her in the state I saw her when I entered Mikell’s crib on Friday morning.

Mikell had to catch an early flight to the North for the weekend (to start the end of the year cruise, of course), so he left her naked (but covered) and snoring on the bed. He called me to help see her out and lock his crib for him till he comes back.

After lots of bells and no answer, I entered the house and made it to Mikell’s room where I saw this girl lying wasted on the bed… and she was naked (she had pulled away the duvet Mikell covered her with)! I was like Oh Ma Fhucking Gosh! I did the sign of the cross and covered her back — she should be grateful I’d repented from my fhucking ways, otherwise she would’ve woken up to the feeling she slept from.

When I finally woke her up, she almost jumped out of the bed before she realized she slept naked (wetin she kon dey hide wey I never see before…?). I apologized for the shock and explained my presence and Mikell’s absence… but most importantly, that the time was 11:00am and I had to lock the house before going to my office! That was when she screamed like a mad woman and didn’t even care about my presence while she ran around naked looking for her clothes… trust me, I enjoyed the show *winks*.

So... what is she covering?

I called Mikell and he told me that he was already in Zamfara and he was lodging in one of the most expensive hotels there — thought that was supposed to be a “Sharia State”. I guess it is only the poor folks that got caught in the act who usually had their genitals severed or will you tell me that all those rich Sharia followers know how to keep their ‘dingalins’ (better) in their loins? I’ve never heard of a rich folk losing his dingdong over an extra puzzy and I know that is why hotels are selling mehn!

Well, Mikell’s catch in Zamfara, Azeezat, had been monitoring his movement and comfort since his arrival but had no idea that she wasn’t the only one that invited Mikell into the State…. You want to know the other woman? The next episode of this Season’s Special Christmas Cruise drops tomorrow, don’t miss it!

…MikellzBluez Continuez…

#MBz34 © 2013

Note: Sincere apology to all those who were expecting this episode yesterday… as much we are taking the blame, we are forwarding most of it to PHCN. Next episode is definitely coming in a deluxe mode… watch out!