[Season’s Special] #MBz35 - Mikell’s Christmas Cruise — Part IV

Don’t you think the way this Christmas Season went was funny? Everybody looking like someone stole their food! Clubs are not getting the legendary season’s rate of customer inflow, and tell you what:  the poulterers are praying that they won’t have to eat their chickens all by themselves! No matter how tough it had been in the past years, we still say “Merry Christmas” but how would we now say “merry” when there was almost no merriment?! I guess the only good English Patience Jonathan had spoken in recent time would be “Goodluck Christmas” — no merry this year!

Oh! You want to read how I spent my Christmas? Let’s save that for later while I brief you Mikell’z trips all over the North — my guy is now chilling with the Chiomas and Amarachis in the East! Let me quickly chip it in that Pablo is also in the East at the moment — that part of the country would have been Cayman's Island if Nigeria was a world!

When you find yourself in shidd, there are no better ways to describe it than saying you are in shidd! Oluchi was in deep shidd, and I was just catching my fun watching her run around Mikell’s crib while I was ‘gisting’ with Mikell on the phone….

remember Oluchi?

Azeezat’s close friend, Aishat, had been secretly calling Mikell after Azeezat introduced them to each other weeks before. Funny thing is Mikell was not scared if it was a plan between the girls, but if it turned out not to be a win-win risk, then middle finger to the ladies as he doesn’t have time for bullshidd when there are hundreds of girls pending…. And to make it more interesting, it was Aishat that Azeezat sent to meet Mikell to make sure he settled in comfortably because she (Azeezat) was very busy with executive meetings in her father’s conglomerate (more like being careless to directly show the cheese to the mouse…).

I told Mikell that Oluchi was having her bath while he quickly told me what had transpired within hours between Aishat and him…. Oh! You want to read too? Okay, she picked him at a cab terminal and drove him to an expensive hotel … they booked for a suite … took the elevator … but was just staring at the numbers in the lift like complete strangers … got out and walked down the hallway to— I should cut the story short and go to the main gist? It seems you know the gist; why not write it instead?

Well, only a baby doesn’t know what usually happens when a boy and girl get behind a closed door, not to mention a closed hotel door…. Aishat, instantly doing away with her hijab as soon as they entered the suite, jumped on Mikell like a predator on prey! If not that Mikell had been with her several minutes before, he would’ve thought she was mentally derailed… however, the situation was not quite far from an insanity case because the once religiously clad lady was then naked and busy tearing clothes off Mikell’s flesh— a sexual jihad was about to begin. And you don’t have to read before you know how it went; trust that nothing catches Mikell unawares — not to talk making a love war!

Let's Make A Xmas Love War

Funny thing was that Aishat received Azeezat’s (the original inviter) call while acting a Cowgirl on Mikell, and she congratulating her (Azeezat) that Mikell was everything she boasted about, and she (Aishat) was happy for her…. She took Mikell on a brief and secret shopping in the hotel to replace the clothes she tore earlier (and she sure bought more than she tore) before she left Mikell in the suite.

Azeezat came in hours later and met him in the Jacuzzi. She planned to take him out for lunch as soon as she got in but her appetite was instantly overshadowed by hunger for the bulge in Mikell’s swimming pant… and no one told her before she joined him in the Jacuzzi! Well, if you fear that Azeezat knew that Mikell had her friend, I’d say you can now sleep because she didn’t show any sign that she had the knowledge… and maybe they planned it — who knows? Oops! Who cares?

"Gimme 2 girls ... we gon do it 3 ways"

If the punishment for getting caught with adultery/fornication in Zamfara means losing a dingalin (like you can grow another with time…); what should’ve been Mikell’s punishment for his double hits…? Say whatever but what he got was Christmas gifts worth millions of naira! Call him a prostitute, gigolo, or even a male aristo — somebody gotta fill in ‘that’ space or don’t you think so? Man just FedExed the stuffs south-west and took the next available flight to Kaduna the next morning before any Sharia follower could pick on him for whatever….

Kaduna was a different story because it was God that saved his ass from getting bombed! Puzzy hustle takes lots of risks and that is why you hear people say this Yoruba prayer: olorun ma je ki obo pa e (God won’t let puzzy kill you)! Well, he did all he had to before taking the next trip to a more risky part of the country — Yobe!

When he entered Yobe, he stopped asking why the place is notoriously filled with prospective and tough terrorists when he saw that the women there are bombs! Mikell just wondered if these terrorists had to make any more explosives — just put one of these girls in a place and the place will most definitely be in explosions!

XXXPLOSIVES

It was so difficult to control the anaconda in his pants as super-hot girls kept walking here and there (even in their kaftans), and his host, Aminat, noticed he was not comfortable…. So, she had to make them stay up in the rented suite till he dressed up the next morning for his trip to the East, where he was sure to blow like three different caves in a day….

And you canst believe who called me on Christmas day — it was Oluchi! I didn’t tell you that we exchanged digits when I went to lock Mikell’z crib the other day… Well, she only called for Season’s Greetings and was a little disappointed when I told her I was spending the day with my fiancé. However, she made me promise to take her out for her Christmas treat — no two ways to this shit; “Igbo girls” and “FREE Food” are definitely synonymous!

Mikell 3F Diggz and Pablo are now running classic chicks in the East sha, and you can never imagine what has been going on in the lands of ‘money rule the world’; all I can tell you now is…

…MikellzBluez Continuez…

#MBz35 © 2013