Tuesday, 31 December 2013

[Season’s Special] #MBz36 - Mikell’s Christmas Cruise — Part V


Telling you that a man was survived by three wives and nineteen children; do you still need to ask me what killed him? I think man was created to take some stupid risks with results that will live with them for eternity, or what would have made a man not to use a condom and even trigger him to explode inside the woman when he was neither ready to be a father nor a husband? And with the knowledge that women are irresistible and indispensible problems, a stupid man is not contended with one and thinks adding another will solve his problem; does he think they are pieces of boxers or cars…? A season’s advice for you:  cheat on your wife and you are simply adding to what will kill you….

When people read my words, they call me John Wayne with a pen because I commit multiple degrees of murder when I write…. I was charged to court for killing with the pen, and I almost won till my attorney read two lines from #MikellzBluez! People come on me every chance they got, saying why do I enjoy writing so much shidd but can you tell me what’s easier than shidd? You can even do shidd while sleeping, but don’t think you can do like I do my shidd — you should ask Patience Jonathan and Honourable Patrick the effects of saying shidd. Only people like my hommies, Weezy F Baby, Basket Mouth, Nicki Minaj, Kanye, D’ Banj and 2face, can go away with saying shidd! And definitely not everyman can go on many women like my guys, Mikell and Pablo, are cruising through the fhucking last days of the year….

With all the killings and bombings, Mikell had to zoom out of the North as soon as he could. He entered Enugu but didn’t stop till he made it to Nsukka — the Center of Butty Excellence! Nsukka is another place of high rate of bomb explosions, but these are more of suicide bombers that blow everywhere they walk with their looks — that’s the only form of bombs I love and appreciate “blow me, baby, blow me”! A girl without back bomb in Nsukka should be thrown down from the mountain like Spartans did their weak baby boys, because you will so fear the future physique of the small girls when you see them all loaded from behind….

Nsukka UKWUs!!
Don’t doubt it when you hear that the love of money is priority in the East — it will take 21 days of fasting and prayers to get an Igbo girl to spend N100 for you; don’t even expect anything but be ready to give everything — non-stop fhuck inclusive, they take it all with the same yearn. So when Mikell got to Nsukka, he didn’t expect anyone to arrange his hospitality; he settled himself in the newest hotel in town — the newest is always the best. And he called the first girl — yes, the first. Don’t even think of going to the east without other options; the girls are so bad that they keep themselves only for the highest bidder…. He called Nneka.

Nneka flew over like a G6 and you can trust that the first thing she said was: what did you bring for me?! Mikell suggested they made it to the restaurant, and later to the bar, where her mouth hunger was satisfied… and sure, she had the other that had to be satisfied up in the room. “Mummy … mummy” Mikell was just laughing inside and wondering if she actually wanted her mother to appear and save her from his anaconda as it strikes hard into her juicy cave….

She is a GIFT
Well, nothing more spectacular happened in the east except that Mikell was getting the girls in excess and the frequency of the fhucking sessions was super high!

My man was soon in Cross River and you’ll know the heat of things in that part of the country… oh you can’t wait for the gist? Don’t worry but I have to tell you how Mikell and Pablo jammed in the East and round the whole cruise up in the next and final episode of Christmas Cruise….


…MikellzBluez Continuez…
#MBz36 © 2013

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