[EPIC FINAL EPISODE] #MBz27 My First MEN-ONLY NIGHT With Jude - Part VI

If you are just joining this sequel for the first time and you are thinking of the stress of combing through the blog for previous episodes, think no further as I am here with the direct links: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V… enjoy. And apologies as we have to change the G part of the title to ‘men-only’ — AdSense prerequisite.

*picks a new bottle of vodka*

Still on this man-to-man talk, I was having this light conversation with a guy some days ago and he said, “I know how hard and painful it is to get my poops out sometimes, not to talk of having a huge nozzle entering… no, I can’t do that ‘poop’.” Trust me, I only chuckled and replied, “If hard and painful poop is your problem, then one night of men-only is the solution.”

You know what they say about women feeling free and enjoying being friends with the ‘same love’ guys, so I sometimes freely claim to be one on Twitter… but this is Nigeria, that poop don’t work at all — girls here want your ‘anaconda’ while every Tom, Anaconda and Harry will run far from you — loneliness will surely kill you unless you find yourself a sub-human like yourself!

*sips*

So, I think some of the times I claimed to enjoy ‘same love’ must have ‘gingered’ Jude to think he already found the love of his sick life. And we all know how he came to Ibadan in the pursuit of his love, took his love to swim… and well, we chilled at the bar right after swimming at Koko Dome.

All through the time, Jude was throwing several compliments at me in between our conversations and my mind just kept sinking with worries for the night. I was making mental calculations of how not to be in the same room with him but only the couch would be able to welcome me… and when I pretended to have dozed off on the couch while watching TV, this guy came and softly tapped me on the bum to come into the room with him.

If he was going to tap me anywhere to wake me up, must it be my bum? I stretched and feigned to be deep in sleep, then told him sleepily that I would join him later… and miraculously, he left. And I must’ve slept off for real because I can still remember how I spiritedly snapped to life when I felt some movement at the tip of my ‘guyhood’.

*sips … refills … sips*

And it must have been a dream when Jude led me into the room, where I slept sweetly with my back to him — yes, with my beautiful bum to torment his imagination — only to suddenly start feeling some soft and sweet touches on my side… you can tell that my memory of Francis instantly rushed back as clear as the ‘Terminator’ movie I enjoyed watching back then. Yes, we all can tell that it was about to go down….

And talking of movies, I followed my ‘Basic Instinct’ and pulled his hand out of ‘Premonition’, placed it on its ‘Final Destination’, and listened to his ‘Pitch Perfect’ gasp as he felt my ‘Dark Knight Rises’. I am not writing a ‘Vampire Diaries’ but I was ‘Up In The Air’ when his mouth touched my neck — no way I could have been ‘Fighting Temptation’ like this ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ — and when I grabbed his ‘Iron Man’, I knew I was messing with a ‘Man Of Steel’! I opened my mouth like a ‘Safe House’ and kept his ‘Mr. Bones’ ‘Safe’ in there till I took in all his ‘Gremlins’ like the ‘Takers’. Obviously not one of the ‘Few Good Men’ but ‘Men Goat’, Jude was a ‘Mean Machine’ as he violently landed his hammer of ‘Thor’ in my ‘Sleepy Hollow’… I gasped “Father Francis” but he whispered softly, “My Name Is Khan.” I didn’t mind if we were ‘Just Friends’ and ‘No Strings Attached’, my ‘Hunger Games’ for more of Jude was ‘Limitless’ and ‘Unstoppable’; his ‘Anaconda’ was sweeter than ‘American Pie’ and I didn’t mind having a ‘Hangover’ from it. You may call him ‘John Carter’ or one of those ‘Men In Black’, Jude sure took me out of this world, where I saw that ‘Mars Needs A Mom’, and he brought me back ‘Down To Earth’ and into the ‘Deep Blue Sea’, where I heard the famous ‘Shark Tale’, and also to Egypt to see ‘The Mummy’. The feeling was really ‘Over The Hedge’ and sweeter than ‘Honey’; Jude was ‘Fast And Furious’ and I also had to ‘Step Up’ my ‘Waist Deep’ to make it an epic ‘Clash Of The Titans’….

And this is the ‘Blind Spot’, where I have to wake all you ‘Dumb And Dumber’ from this same ‘Dream House’, where Jude must have also been ‘Lost’ in. To think that I could ever allow him to ‘Crash’ my ‘White House Down’ like some ‘Great Train Robbery’ — hell no — that is ‘Mission Impossible’!

*sips vodka*

As soon as Jude miraculously went in the first time — after tapping my bum — I went into the half bathroom to wash every atom of sleep away from my eyes! The guy came out to ask me in like a hundred times and he was always meeting me wide awake in front of the TV, even watching African Magic — Yoruba was not wrong when they say “K’oju ma r’ibi; gbogbo ara l’ogun e” (no translation, use Google) and “Omo to ni iya re oni sun; ohun gan oni f’oju ba orun.” — I had to see how he would try to infiltrate my domiciliary when my vigilante eyes were at alert like “who goes there?”

We Will Better Play Video Games Till The Next Day!

And yes, I slept off but while seated on my bum — don’t dull. Jude woke me up like 5:30am in the morning — all dressed up — and told me he was going back to east. “Ha-ha? Didn’t you say you wanted to stay the weekend ni?” I feigned care, “well, adios then. I hope you called that taxi man from yesterday to come and take you to the park sha … okay bye”

I opened and finished ten bottles of vodka in celebration … and woke up to write out this Based on a True Story sequel.

…MikellzBluez Continues…

#MBz27 © 2013

Mikell’s Note: I promised you Sadiq’s story after this, and you will get it … however, I need time to do a major censoring for all the previous sequels on the blog for it to be approved for AdSense services. Bear with me. Thanks.

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