“…thirty million in one night…thirty million
in one night…thirty million in one night…thirty million in one night…thirty
million in one night…thirty million in—”
That very
line in Jay-Z’s “Holy Grail” rap
kept ringing in my head like a spoilt compact disc in a CD player, as I sat
down wondering what I just did to myself… that line wasn’t made for Mike Tyson alone, I swear! How did I even
get myself in this godforsaken situation?
6
hours before…
I was in a
friend’s car with another friend, making three of us, and we were talking about
a Chinese girls’ hideout believed to
be located at Ikeja and how wasteful
the high charge of 100K to use one’s
pestle in an Asian mortar is…. It was the end of the month, I just received my
monthly pay, and we were on our way to hang out and spend some of the money on
grilled fish and liquor.
5
hours before…
I was
killing the effect of the pepper used in preparing the fish with chilled mixed liquor…
while we kept discussing how wasteful it is to stay in a hotel room/suite that
is over 50K, even as a wealthy man. All through the conversation, I maintained
my stand to spend as much as I can to enjoy life and live comfortably….
4
hours before…
A friend
called and later joined us where we were chilling, with a girl in tow and he
planned to hit the girl that night… in my apartment! Meaning I would be
homeless that Friday night… well, what were we friends for? Where was I going
to sleep though? You can guess that I was too drunk to figure that out on time…
and my friend with the car suggested we go clubbing!
3
hours before…
Yes,
clubbing; not a bad idea… but with which of our girls? Oh wait! I remembered I met
a girl and her friend few days back, so I called them. It was like they were
waiting for my call because before I could say “Jack”, they were already
singing about boredom killing them, and their ultimate yearn to go out… and I offered
to rescue them from the clasp of boredom! Something I shouldn’t have done….
2
hours before…
We picked
the girls up at a junction. Drove from clubs to clubs to see the one that suited
our mood… then my friend received a call from home—no, from his wife. His wife
was ill and his attention was needed… meaning I would be left alone with the
two skimpy clothed hot looking girls to club with all night—not a bad idea, or
so it seemed. So, we picked this very beautiful club and my friend quickly
drove home to attend to his wife… tell you what: I should’ve followed him ‘jejely’!
1
hour before…
So, I walked
into the club like a Don, flanked by two gorgeous and sexy girls. I envisaged that
we were just going to take few affordable beer or energy drink to make us get naughty for the night, which wouldn’t hurt my pocket… then one of the guys
working with the club pointed that I should take the stairs to the section that
befitted my status—my two “chikitos”
were getting me ranks already—I swear women make the world go round… or they
make it go down, depends on which side of the coin you can see.
 |
| Feeling Like A Boss... |
We found a
table for ourselves and we were served the drink menu as soon as we settled in.
I scanned through the four-leaved paper and all I saw were prices that made me
ask if I was still in Nigeria! 200K, 150K, 120K, 100K, 180K, 90K… for just one
goddamn drink?! I blinked several times—but fought the urge to wipe my eyes—to confirm
that I was actually looking at what was printed on the paper in my hands. The cheapest
liquor on the menu was 30K… and I had
just 35K in my pocket.
Oh! You saw
30 million on the post’s title—so what? You didn’t think I blew 30 million
Naira in one night, did you? Was I mad or under a spell? Convert thirty
thousand Naira to Zimbabwean Dollars
and you may have your millions though.
I just gave
the menu to the girls to pick a choice for themselves while all the liquor I took
before instantly left my system as I realised I was in hot soup… literally hot
as I started sweating in the freezing air-conditioned room. They picked the 30K
drink, and I asked them if they were sure of their choice… like I could afford
anything else, eh? I dropped the cash and my spirit left with the money…
[PAUSE] if you were in my shoes, what would you have done? [PLAY] we drank up
and these girls didn’t disappoint me… they gave me 30K worth of body rubs as we
danced all night!
3
hours later…
Liquor gone…
no, thirty fucking thousand Naira gone! Yes, I worked for that shit and the
pain came back as soon as I was tired of dancing! I went to sit and was
thinking of how to live through the next month on the change in my pocket… it
would be hell, I swore.
And right
there, in my sorrow mode, a cute girl—not one of mine—came to sit beside me…
also to rest from dancing, I guessed. She later asked for time, to which I didn’t
reply but showed her my wrist for her to see herself… God knew I was too tired
of earth at that particular moment. But can you guess what happened the next
moment? This strange girl put one of her arms around my shoulder in an attempt
to rest her head on me… and like “WTF?” I just slowly stood up, dropping her
hand like shit, and walked away, while all the guys present stared at me in awe…
little did they know that my problem at that moment was greater than a free “punani”—or what did I do actually?
 |
| "30 Million in one night..." |
Tega
********************
I hope you enjoyed this episode of My Bluez! This is a very interesting
segment by you, of you and for you… you can call that Blogocracy. Well, this is
another chance to be part of #MikellzBluez,
which is sharing YOUR Bluez. These
stories will be written by you and they are expected to be some very nutty and
crazy experiences you think are worth reading.
You will send them to us via email mikellzbluez@gmail.com
and you can trust us to keep your personal information confidential. However,
we do not promise to post every mail we receive, and we reserve the right to
edit or censor your words before posting them.
**********
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Nice One, Mikell. Next time don't let the babes run your head
ReplyDeleteI can imagine the pain you felt!!!
ReplyDelete.."now look what that ist did to Tega, 30K for one night.."
ReplyDelete