BARBIE TEE’s Diary | Ms WakaWaka And Mr Americana FINAL Showdown!

French people will say, “Comment allez-vous?” Spanish people will say, “¿Como estas?” Swahili people will say, “–gani” and a British man will say, “How are you?”  But me, Miss WakaWaka of Nigeria, I no fit forget my root even if I go anywhere for this world, so that is why I will say, “How una dey?” I hope say everything dey go fine. And this goes to my wonderful fans, especially those ones that have been dropping comments, thank you very much… in fact, God go bless all of una; na your views and comments dey always ginger me to dey write new posts so. And I don take pledge with myself say I no go ever disappoint una.

I know you are all eager to know what happened between me and Mr Tokunbo… make una calm down, no be good thing to rush hot yam; na small small person dey take chop am and na that way the yam go take sweet well well. I will like you to enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed writing about it, so I will take the details one by one so that we won’t miss out on anything.

But before I go into the story, I wan give una small advice… I know someone is saying “why now?” Well as much as I want to entertain with my stories, I also want to advise with it, so my advice for today be say “make you use the good thing wey God give you to get the good things wey you want.” No waste am at all; you don’t want to die, go to heaven and have God tell you this is what you should have become if you had used what he gave you. God gave us our reproductive organs and we all know that the surest way to make babies is to put these “organs” to use… so that other thing He gave you, either abstract or physical, please put it to use. And trust me, you will get amazing results at the end. I don talk my own oh, big reward awaits those who put ear for ground, and well, na the other way round for those who no give ear to my advice.

Now for what you all have been waiting for… I picked my call and found out that it was Mr Tokunbo that was calling with his father’s number, the conversation went thus,

Mr Tokunbo: Hello

Me: Good evening sir (trying not to sound too excited)

Mr Tokunbo: This is Tokunbo

Me: Ah! (faking surprise like say I no sabi who dey talk) Good evening sir

Mr Tokunbo: Please, remove the “sir”; you can use that with my dad, call me Tokunbo

Me: Ok sir sorry erm… erm… Tokunbo(you will think that I have never heard the name before

Mr Tokunbo: I hope you are not too stressed from today’s work

Me: No ssss— (almost said “sir” again but stopped myself)

Mr Tokunbo: It’s been a long time since I have been in Nigeria and I need someone to accompany me on a kind of tour, will you be chanced tomorrow (which was a Saturday) to go with me?

Before nko?! Thank God it wasn’t a Skype call; I wouldn’t have been able to conceal my excitement from him. But as a sharp girl, who has been in the game for long, I had to create a kind of resistance [girls, take note].

Me: A friend of mine promised she will visit me tomorrow; I won’t want her to come and not meet me because I really want to see her. (If truly I had something planned, I was automatically cancelled but what he said next surprised me)

Mr Tokunbo: Your friend can join us

Me: Ok then, that will be nice

We made plans about where we would meet and what time it would be, and he ended the call with the promise to call back in the morning. You should have seen me after the call ended; I danced both “Skelewu” and “Alingo” together to an imaginary song in my head. I stood in front of my standing mirror and started talking to myself, “Barbie Tee, you are the best … Barbie Tee, God has answered your prayers, you are going to be an Americana girlfriend… and maybe go to America one day … Barbie Tee from secretary to daughter in-law….”

I continued like that for some time before I started making plans on what to wear. I picked one of my very expensive and fine dresses… I didn’t want to look cheap and tacky.

Fast-forward to Saturday morning, I am sure I was the first person to wake up in my compound. I took my bath, and even though we had planned to meet at an eatery around 10am, I was already dressing up by 7am. I am not a trained makeup artiste oh but I put the little I know to use. I was packing my hair when Mr Tokunbo’s call came in, after getting confirmation from me that I was coming, he hung up and I continued styling myself.

I took small cornflakes, so that I will have something in my tummy and not faint when I see him. At exactly 10am, I left the house so that by the time I get there, he would be there already. And really, he was waiting for me when I got there. He asked for my friend and I told him she cancelled.

We had great fun going from one place to another and I got comfortable with him with time. I tell you the guy is just so amazing, everywhere we entered, I saw the way people stared at us; we were perfect together, and  I could see the envious looks from others girls… I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. And I made sure that we had lots of eye contacts, so that he will fall in.

After spending about some hours sightseeing, we ended up in an up class restaurant and that was when the bombshell dropped. The thing I wasn’t expecting happened; he started by thanking me for accompanying him, that I was as nice as his father told him I am. He then said I reminded him of someone. I asked “who?” and what he said was… hmmm…….what he really said….hmm…… sha lemme say it. He said that I reminded him of his fiancée and the mother of his child in America!

I felt the mixture of every bad feeling you can think of… like someone had poured me acid, like someone had hammered a nail on my head, like I had been slapped by a labourer, like an “Aboki” man just kissed me… every excitement disappeared, every dream shattered like a broken glass, I was thrown out of my fantasy world!

It would have been better if it was just a fiancée but he also has a child with the woman! He then made it hard by flipping out his phone and started showing me pictures… I was just smiling like a “mumu” and was telling him “they are cute.”

How could I have made assumptions? If I’d started with him on the “runs” level, I wouldn’t have minded if he had 10 wives and 50 children, as long as he would pay me for my services! From that point, I didn’t see him as the handsome man he was again… what I always saw was the picture of his wife and baby carrying a banner saying “NO ROAD HERE, TRY ELSEWHERE!” and that was how I saw him till he went back to America.

That kine thing can paaaaiiinnnn!!!

The funny thing was that the day he was leaving, he came by the office and thanked me for everything. When he left, my colleagues wanted to know what the “everything” was but I no fit tell them, they will turn me to a laughing stock (I hope you are not laughing at me as well). I simply lied to them that it was the office work that I did for him.

But really, the guy funny sha; leading me on by taking me out, just to tell me about his wife and child. In fact, part of my prayers at the New Year Eve service, that I went to, was that God will not let me meet guys like Mr Tokunbo again in my life! And thank God that he went back because I will just hate myself anytime I see him….

So, that was how my ordeal with Mr Tokunbo went oh… well join me next week as I take you on another journey of my life. Till then, I remain your one and only Miss WakaWaka.

Barbie Tee

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