[Season’s Special] #MBz37 - Mikell’s Christmas Cruise — Part VI

YYAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

It’s a day to the New Year! Yes, a day to another year and everybody is rushing up and down; where do you think they are going? Their villages, where they will sure spend super less cash to celebrate the New Year — it’s been a hard year mehn! Even our folks abroad aren’t coming around no more (to oppress and impress us) when they know that their credit cards will sure be maxed out days before they remember to buy a return ticket…. Sorry to the Igbo girls expecting to meet suitors from “obodo oyinbo” — better stick to that chemist guy in your street before it’s too late.

End of the year things and you all know that bombing is now part of mishaps you have to watch out for! I must confess that I didn’t enjoy this Christmas season with peace of mind — We (I and my Girl, of course) were not feeling safe at the Yankari Game Reserve; no, not for the animals but for humans that love suicide bombing… so, I couldn’t flex like I was supposed to. Anyways, I’m here to give you the summary of how Mikell spent the last few days of 2013… enjoy.

Mikell is right now chilling with me in Gidi, and all we are doing is drinking from a club to another — we can’t afford to get beef with any of our clubs at the last hours of the year, more so when free drinks are everywhere (for us)…. So, then and there, Mikell and Pablo are giving me chronicles of their exodus through the last 12 days of the year 2013.

Let me quickly tell you this: I bet you all can remember Oluchi, the bank executive that overslept in Mikell’s crib, well that chick wouldn’t just let a nigga be… and I just had to… err… uh… do you keep secrets? I wouldn’t want my wife-to-be hear this please, so keep it as secrets between brothers, ok? Oluchi got attracted to me that day I went to lock Mikell’s crib (maybe because she knew I already saw her with no clothes and she wanted to have her view as well, I don’t know), and made sure that we played the daddy and mommy game in her crib…. Well, Oluchi was not the only Gidi girl that Mikell showed the magnanimity of his Anaconda; he has been back for some days now and the number of ladies on his fhuck list is like to-dos of a lifetime! He had Tofunmi, Brandy, Nifemi, Amarachi, Anita, Ganiyat, Gabrielle… just to list but few.

Girls on the List

His trip to the North was made early because my man couldn’t afford to be victim of a shooting spree all for one lady, when there are over 2 billion ladies in the world that he can grab (not that the ladies are not worth dying for, but none of their lives were in danger — it will simply be a fool’s death!). There is a notorious belief that Pastor’s children are usually wayward or ungodly… well, Imam’s kids are not different, or did I forget to tell you that Azeezat’s friend, Aishat, is having an Imam as a pop? Guess that was why Azeezat could trust her with “her man”. Mikell didn’t forget to hit the yarinyas in Yobe and Kaduna, and all they kept doing was giving end-of-the-year testimonies, “Walahi! Mallam Mikell, I fhuck me well well; rankadede”!

Remember I said that I will tell you about how Mikell and Pablo jammed in the East… well, it is not too late to gist you. Pablo called Paulina before he flew to PH, so he was rest assured that he had a sure welcoming company until he landed and she refused picking his calls! This girl must be cwazy to do such to a Don like Pablo; so he simply dialled Tonia, who flew over to keep the Don’s company. And Mikell was also in PH at the time, but none of my guys knew about the location of each other… until later in the evening when Pablo decided to treat Tonia to a nice dinner. Then and there did he discover Mikell chilling in a corner with a sweet looking lady — looking sweet from the back view though… only for him to walk up and greet Mikell to find out that the lady was no one but Paulina! No shidd — Mikell is a brother and there was no way he could’ve known that Pablo was the caller that Paulina was ignoring his calls all day; he simply thought it was some loser… did you say small world? I’m actually playing Same Girl by R. Kelly for theme song.

Christmas Gift for the highest bidder

Well, Calabar girls had their share of the sweetness of Mikell’s Magnum… and Yenagoa ladies will never forget about Mikell so soon — they knew they met a man that works like a computed machine on the bed…. It was in Calabar that Mikell went out dining with Steph and just beside their table was another lady with another man. The lady passed a note to Mikell —expertly to the oblivion of Steph and the man that brought her to dinner — saying she would like to taste that snake nodding in his pants (guess his snake had been nodding to Steph’s alluring outlook). Mikell was speechless but as a 7-Star General in bed wars, he took up the challenge and signalled they met at the nearest battlefield — the restroom…. Steph and this lady’s man waited for their respective dates while the dates were having an impromptu combat in the restrooms, where the snake and hole were having a serious wrestling!

And on his way back to Lagos, Mikell went to Akure and Ado; the girls there will never forgive him if he didn’t. With their mouths (both north and south mouths) watering for his pepper-roll, the day he dedicated to both towns were heated (only God can explain how he made Mikell that he’s surviving all these Puzzy rush). Ibadan girls flocked to Lagos to claim their share of the national cake (it is better to have one than not getting any of the versions of national cakes), and Ogun girls didn’t stay behind….

on Mikell's looooooonnnnnggggg thing

It is normal for you to think Mikell now has his anaconda hanging in the surgeon’s theatre, waiting for some serious surgery. But to disappoint you, he’s still booked for this girl from Calabar before the clock strikes 00:00am in 2014… and we shall see you then!

…MikellzBluez Continuez…

#MBz37 © 2013